Obedience or Courage
A member of my congregation whom I admire posted a link to this today. It's an amazing site, and one I look forward to utilizing - especially the At the Pulpit online resource, which offers excerpts and discourses by women in General Conference. The man who posted it prefaced the link with this quotation: President Spencer W. Kimball said: "Someday, when the whole story of this and previous dispensations is told, it will be filled with courageous stories of our women, of their wisdom and their devotion, their courage, for one senses that perhaps, just as women were the first at the sepulchre of the Lord Jesus Christ after his resurrection, our righteous women have so often been instinctively sensitive to things of eternal consequence" ("The True Way of Life and Salvation," Apr. 1978 General Conference).
I imagine it was something discussed in the BYU-Idaho devotional this morning. I'm not affiliated with the university in any way, officially or unofficially, but as the significant presence in my community, it continues to have profound and thought-provoking effects on my daily life.
Since receiving my doctorate, I have continued to struggle with internalized sexism that I must have learned somewhere. Perhaps it was demonstrated in the family that raised me. I can't be sure. But when I read that quotation this morning, my first thought was the cynical paraphrase, "courageous women who do what they're told."
BYU-Idaho prides itself on being even more socially conservative than BYU proper in Provo, Utah. Their dress and behavior standards for students and faculty are more strict and less likely to change. I'm less interested in student behavior than I am in the anecdotes I hear constantly about how my friends, the rare and precious female faculty, are treated by their colleagues of either gender, and the persistent emphasis on silence, obedience, and conformity.
There will always be male checks on female behavior and expression in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Men give temple worthiness interviews. Men extend callings, and police membership (men preside at all disciplinary hearings). And at BYU-Idaho, men are presidents, vice presidents, and department heads, though I don't know that that must always be so. It frequently feels as if men have made a little sandbox for women in which they may build as many elaborate sandcastles as they please, as long as they don't bother the grownups. We can act and speak, but not to the press, and not anything that isn't the weather or our health (oh wait. Women's health is also frequently taboo. Better stick to the weather.)
Clearly, I exaggerate somewhat, but the feeling still exists that makes a mockery of the idea of "courageous" women, as if a "courageous" woman actually performs "courage" through cheerful and silent obedience. You don't even know she's there until Jesus points her out after all has been said and done. Look at that army of women who did as they were told while men gave the inspired orders. Look at the women who "courageously" slaved away washing men's clothing and raising men's children, and cooking men's food, and serving on that cute little Relief Society thing they do while men make the real decisions. Look at the women who smile patiently and absorb every word while men propound the doctrines. Look at the women who courageously do only what they're told.
I do not for a single moment believe that God is speaking in mealy-mouthed euphemism when he uses the word Courage. I think that courage is courage, and sometimes courage looks dangerous or unattractive, especially on women. Courage destabilizes: it stands up to the status quo. It speaks truth to power - ANY power. Courage doesn't wait to be told what to do. And sometimes courage is hasty, and sometimes we courageously make mistakes. Yep. That's a thing. And here's where my opinion might be controversial: that courage that led to a mistake - that courage is still a virtue.
Courage doesn't always dress itself to your standards. Maybe it's you that courage is standing up to. I think that men (and women) will be judged by how they react when someone is courageous against them. I think I will be judged by how I react when people are courageous against me, too.
Any person of any gender can make the world better, and I think the dual key is obedience to God's commandments (not man's arbitrary social standards), and a courageous and conscientious use of agency. How and when each of us turns those keys is between us and our Heavenly Father. No matter who builds the sandboxes around us in this life, Heavenly Father will not tolerate such interference in the holy relationships between him and his divine children.
Let us go and do much good, and say what we really think.
I imagine it was something discussed in the BYU-Idaho devotional this morning. I'm not affiliated with the university in any way, officially or unofficially, but as the significant presence in my community, it continues to have profound and thought-provoking effects on my daily life.
Since receiving my doctorate, I have continued to struggle with internalized sexism that I must have learned somewhere. Perhaps it was demonstrated in the family that raised me. I can't be sure. But when I read that quotation this morning, my first thought was the cynical paraphrase, "courageous women who do what they're told."
BYU-Idaho prides itself on being even more socially conservative than BYU proper in Provo, Utah. Their dress and behavior standards for students and faculty are more strict and less likely to change. I'm less interested in student behavior than I am in the anecdotes I hear constantly about how my friends, the rare and precious female faculty, are treated by their colleagues of either gender, and the persistent emphasis on silence, obedience, and conformity.
There will always be male checks on female behavior and expression in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Men give temple worthiness interviews. Men extend callings, and police membership (men preside at all disciplinary hearings). And at BYU-Idaho, men are presidents, vice presidents, and department heads, though I don't know that that must always be so. It frequently feels as if men have made a little sandbox for women in which they may build as many elaborate sandcastles as they please, as long as they don't bother the grownups. We can act and speak, but not to the press, and not anything that isn't the weather or our health (oh wait. Women's health is also frequently taboo. Better stick to the weather.)
Clearly, I exaggerate somewhat, but the feeling still exists that makes a mockery of the idea of "courageous" women, as if a "courageous" woman actually performs "courage" through cheerful and silent obedience. You don't even know she's there until Jesus points her out after all has been said and done. Look at that army of women who did as they were told while men gave the inspired orders. Look at the women who "courageously" slaved away washing men's clothing and raising men's children, and cooking men's food, and serving on that cute little Relief Society thing they do while men make the real decisions. Look at the women who smile patiently and absorb every word while men propound the doctrines. Look at the women who courageously do only what they're told.
I do not for a single moment believe that God is speaking in mealy-mouthed euphemism when he uses the word Courage. I think that courage is courage, and sometimes courage looks dangerous or unattractive, especially on women. Courage destabilizes: it stands up to the status quo. It speaks truth to power - ANY power. Courage doesn't wait to be told what to do. And sometimes courage is hasty, and sometimes we courageously make mistakes. Yep. That's a thing. And here's where my opinion might be controversial: that courage that led to a mistake - that courage is still a virtue.
Courage doesn't always dress itself to your standards. Maybe it's you that courage is standing up to. I think that men (and women) will be judged by how they react when someone is courageous against them. I think I will be judged by how I react when people are courageous against me, too.
Any person of any gender can make the world better, and I think the dual key is obedience to God's commandments (not man's arbitrary social standards), and a courageous and conscientious use of agency. How and when each of us turns those keys is between us and our Heavenly Father. No matter who builds the sandboxes around us in this life, Heavenly Father will not tolerate such interference in the holy relationships between him and his divine children.
Let us go and do much good, and say what we really think.
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