Nancy's Musings

Folk philosophers and self-help "experts" (seriously: what kind of person claims to be an expert in living somebody else's life!? I mean, BESIDES me) have hypothesized about the negative emotions that we struggle with when we become painfully aware of our own flawed natures. In my own experience, I can identify three, and this year, I'm going to deal with each of them differently than I have before. 1) Shame. Shame is that mortification and humiliation I feel when I see my flaws through somebody else's eyes: a symptom of valuing their opinion above its worth. I want to learn how to put negative feedback - verbal and nonverbal - into context, subordinate to what I know is true about me, the world, and God. And I want to distinguish between my actions and my identity. I can be mistaken, but I am NOT a mistake. I am Batman, but that doesn't mean I accept all the pop-philosophy of the Christopher Nolan films. 2) Guilt. Guilt is the puritanical conviction that I ha...

When I was in Germany wearing a skirt and riding a bicycle my motto was "no shame." It was meant to remind me that no matter how careful I was, at some point my skirt would fly into my face. It also applied to what I was doing, which was offering to teach people about my religion. The bible says (somewhere) "Be not ashamed of the gospel of Christ," which is an important reminder when you're being treated as we are treated the world over. I even got exorcised once. My reaction even now is a combination of anger and hilarity. The anger is distinctly un-Christlike, and I am sorry for it. When I teach my students how to avoid shaming language (they all think they need to write about obesity in a class where the professor is clearly not in a nineteen-year-old body anymore) I teach them it's the difference between "to be" verbs and strong verbs. "Miley Cyrus is a skank" is slut shaming, and is problematic. "Miley Cyrus dances badly" i...

Okay, clearly I'm the kind of person who likes a little quirk with her Christmas. There's a few facts about me you should know before you take any of my recommendations: 1) I hate Santa. Seriously. I'm convinced that the tradition, however kindly and warm-hearted it began, has become a tool for undermining the true faith and confidence of child-type persons everywhere. Santa=Satan. Just call me the grinch and get over it. I'm absolutely what the Grinch would be, if he had been raised Calvinist. The Grinch is also not on this list. 2) I have a severe distaste for Frank Capra.  It's a Wonderful Life is NOT on this list. 3) I have never seen  National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation , and I didn't see  A Christmas Story until I was well too old to think it was funny, or develop any warm memories. That's at least five Christmas Classics that aren't making this list. You're bound to think one of them is the shizzle. Are you still with me? Let's get...

When people ask (and they don't, so I tell them anyway) whether I think I'll ever get married I tell them part of me knows I'll get married soon (November 2014, to be precise for no apparent reason) and part of me is certain I won't marry in this life. But that's not precisely true. I'm not divided on the subject. I am whole-heartedly both. In my future, crouching in the tall grass, creeps a quantum marriage. It is and isn't at the same time. As Schrodinger's box, I contain the two possibilities: the dead cat, and the live and very angry cat. But I'm a sentient box (where have we seen one of those recently?) and I also have to function in non-quantum space. As a functioning quantum-containment unit, I react to questions, situations, and opportunity in one of two extreme ways. In my head, both possibilities create different actions/words/reactions and I am forced to remain inert, or to choose to manifest one of the possibilities. I'm getting faste...