Nancy's Musings

So you all know the Taylor Swift music video. Just reading the title of this blog might actually get it stuck in your head. So let me show you this one: I still haven't fully decided how I feel about Alex Boye. But this I can say about him: he doesn't care whether I like him or not. He's just doing his thing, and doing it pretty well. I don't think I can actually make the same claim about Ms. Swift, who I actually do like with one grown-up leg still in the closet. What about me? Because of course I'm talking about me. I always talk about me. It saves me from gossip. It also saves me from the mistake of thinking I can tell other people how to be. We create our self-image not only from what we know of ourselves in some sort of hypothetical vacuum, but from our contexts. That we see ourselves in many more contexts than anybody else does gives us an edge in judging ourselves as a whole being, but we're also pretty much the only people interested in ourselves as...

Dear Single Mormon Men, I understand that in many ways, our culture functions in the sexual economy of the Dark Ages. I get that some truths are eternal, but some truths are also eternally wrong. One of the eternal truths is that mankind is designed to fight against his nature. Every time you feel yourself justifying your behavior with the phrase "It's natural," or "It's just how men are" you should in all seriousness rethink what you are doing. Go back to the scriptures. I don't date very much, but I have been on several dates with and have made the acquaintance of several men who indicated their absolute refusal to pursue a woman who is seeing other men, as if each of them saw a woman as a battlefield they refused to enter until all other armies had disbanded. That attitude itself is incredibly frustrating, and not because I'm giving in to my feminine desire to see men fight over me. That attitude is just as barbaric. It's frustrating because t...

My brilliant, beautiful, infallible friends have gotten it all wrong. You know, those people I turn to? They messed up. They disappointed me. People will disappoint from time to time, the same way that I did today. I guess it looks like Karma. I had to do a thing. A really big thing. Before I did the thing I was flooded with positive predictions: "You can totally do this!" "You'll be awesome!" was all I heard from everyone. I hated hearing it. It was totally useless. Who were these people to tell me something they couldn't possibly know? What good would such vacant expressions do me? Well, it turns out, no good at all. They were wrong. I was not awesome. I did badly, as I always do. I don't even know that their mode of affirmation didn't do me harm by setting me up not only to disappoint myself and those involved, but to disappoint all the well-wishers too. And now, when I'm in so much pain from my disappointment all I hear are people arguing tha...