Nancy's Musings

From the time I was very little, my father constantly shared his favorite scripture. I don't know it word for word (he often misquoted it), but it's from 1 Samuel (15:22). And Samuel said, Hath the  Lord   as great   delight  in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the  voice  of the  Lord ? Behold, to  obey   is  better than  sacrifice ,  and  to hearken than the fat of  rams . The point of the verse is that the Lord values strict obedience over flashy repentance. We've all heard the common aphorism "it's easier to receive forgiveness than permission" (I, for instance, heard it from the same dad who misquotes Samuel). It might be easier, but it is not the same to God. In this instance, disobedience (despite flashy repentance) had serious and permanent consequences for Saul. So I go to church. A lot. I probably enjoy it more than most people. I want to learn more about the Savior, and to strengthen and ...

A friend recently warned me to give as little credence to slander as I do to flattery, and I'm taking that advice very seriously for reasons of logic: nobody who tells you what they claim to really think of you is disinterested, whether what they say is positive or negative. It reminded me that in film studies, the films we categorize as "realism" are actually unusually miserable. But misery is somehow automatically more "real" or believable than happiness. And sometimes it's easier to believe I'm a bitch than to believe I'm Batman: that poor, misunderstood vigilante. Recently, due to a depression trigger (and environmental factors), I have been keeping very silent about what's going on in my head. I mean, it'll clear up soon. It'll be bright as the weather, and all will be well. I mean, I guess that's what this blog is for. I have lots of things I want to say, and as the song says, "I could go on, and on, and on, but who c...