YWValues: Choice and Accountability
Rule 8: Guilt is a tool of the devil. Shame comes from pride. Fear is the mind-killer.
Rule 9: The Atonement has no exceptions or loopholes. That's what "eternal" means.
Rule 10: You are strong. You are sane.
Rule 15: Take any blame you are offered (9+10), and use it to fertilize your garden.
Our postmodern secularity is awash with excuses. Developmental problems, IQ, mental illness (don't even get me started), lack of privilege, or a history of violence and victimization become our shackles to failure in our quest for personal progress. Religion offers "the devil made me do it" or "God commanded me" or foreordination/predestination. Our instinct, when the pressure is on, is often to avoid responsibility by avoiding the choice: by allowing some other person to make the decision for us. Research shows that we have a finite amount of decision-making energy per day.
This is the paradox of agency: the more you make the right choices, the more agency you are able to use, because you've strengthened your agency muscle. The more you choose badly, the less capable you are of changing your direction on your own. The obvious illustration for this is addiction. But no matter what choices you are making, always remember Rule 9. No matter what has happened in our past, what prison we now inhabit, what chemistry is in our brains, what injury has been done to our spirit, every human has some measure of agency - each of us is given to choose between good and evil, whatever we conceive that to be. That doesn't mean that we always have the power to change everything we want at a whim. Even magic has rules.
It is evil to try to take away someone else's agency, but what exactly that means in legal and judicial systems is not simple, because government is a compromise between the needs of the individual and the needs of the group. In contrast, it is simple to understand how to take away someone else's agency when you consider things like blackmail, fraud, manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. These things make someone think that they don't have a choice, or make them believe they are choosing when they are not. Most forms of deception are evil in this way, and as I pointed out above, sometimes we are complicit in our own deception because it helps us avoid a difficult decision, or a difficult consequence.
One of the dearest aspects of this overwhelmingly complex value is "accountability." It sounds like the worst. It sounds like the stick that comes after the agency carrot. But truly, our ability to shoulder responsibility, to take blame even if we haven't earned it, or credit if we have, to bear consequences makes us STRONG and gives us knowledge. Being accountable is powerful. By taking responsibility for our privilege especially, we show ourselves what kind of people we really are, even if others can't see it. By hiding behind "not all men," or "not all white people," we deny ourselves a chance to grow, and to make the world better for the people around us. We are strong enough to bear these consequences, and there are others who can't do what we can.
I also believe that it is proper to hold others accountable for their trespass against us, whether they make reparations or not. We are being honest before them, and offering them the option to take responsibility. If we withhold our sincere indictment, if we do not have the courage to testify against our assailants, then we are taking away their agency, and their right of accountability. We have made a decision for them that is theirs by right of being human. Jesus's pattern is simple: tell someone if they have offended you, and then forgive them without reservation. This is how Jesus has always treated me.
Not a yellow wood. ^
Rule 9: The Atonement has no exceptions or loopholes. That's what "eternal" means.
Rule 10: You are strong. You are sane.
Rule 15: Take any blame you are offered (9+10), and use it to fertilize your garden.
Our postmodern secularity is awash with excuses. Developmental problems, IQ, mental illness (don't even get me started), lack of privilege, or a history of violence and victimization become our shackles to failure in our quest for personal progress. Religion offers "the devil made me do it" or "God commanded me" or foreordination/predestination. Our instinct, when the pressure is on, is often to avoid responsibility by avoiding the choice: by allowing some other person to make the decision for us. Research shows that we have a finite amount of decision-making energy per day.
This is the paradox of agency: the more you make the right choices, the more agency you are able to use, because you've strengthened your agency muscle. The more you choose badly, the less capable you are of changing your direction on your own. The obvious illustration for this is addiction. But no matter what choices you are making, always remember Rule 9. No matter what has happened in our past, what prison we now inhabit, what chemistry is in our brains, what injury has been done to our spirit, every human has some measure of agency - each of us is given to choose between good and evil, whatever we conceive that to be. That doesn't mean that we always have the power to change everything we want at a whim. Even magic has rules.
It is evil to try to take away someone else's agency, but what exactly that means in legal and judicial systems is not simple, because government is a compromise between the needs of the individual and the needs of the group. In contrast, it is simple to understand how to take away someone else's agency when you consider things like blackmail, fraud, manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. These things make someone think that they don't have a choice, or make them believe they are choosing when they are not. Most forms of deception are evil in this way, and as I pointed out above, sometimes we are complicit in our own deception because it helps us avoid a difficult decision, or a difficult consequence.
One of the dearest aspects of this overwhelmingly complex value is "accountability." It sounds like the worst. It sounds like the stick that comes after the agency carrot. But truly, our ability to shoulder responsibility, to take blame even if we haven't earned it, or credit if we have, to bear consequences makes us STRONG and gives us knowledge. Being accountable is powerful. By taking responsibility for our privilege especially, we show ourselves what kind of people we really are, even if others can't see it. By hiding behind "not all men," or "not all white people," we deny ourselves a chance to grow, and to make the world better for the people around us. We are strong enough to bear these consequences, and there are others who can't do what we can.
I also believe that it is proper to hold others accountable for their trespass against us, whether they make reparations or not. We are being honest before them, and offering them the option to take responsibility. If we withhold our sincere indictment, if we do not have the courage to testify against our assailants, then we are taking away their agency, and their right of accountability. We have made a decision for them that is theirs by right of being human. Jesus's pattern is simple: tell someone if they have offended you, and then forgive them without reservation. This is how Jesus has always treated me.
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