Holy Hells

My prefered curse phrase, "holy hells," is some combination of the Canadian Captain Carter (from Stargate SG1) who says "Holy Hannah" and my favorite swear word, which is "hell." The semi-consonant sounds are soothing, and in German those same letters mean "light." The irony appeals to me.

But I watched this Mormon Video the other day, and suddenly my casual curse meant something completely different.

This world is not comfy. We live in our own holy hells. Every life has its allotment of misery, struggle, adversity, and care. Even my abundant privileges don't exempt me.

A friend pointed me recently to a blog expressing the fallacies in the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy. Sometimes things happen just because this is our hell. (Whee!) But there are forces, there are friends, who can sanctify it. My holy hells are not the protestant, the Calvinist hell, but a time set aside and from which we shall be lifted.

I want my adversity to change me; the hammer will strike, whether I object or not. But I want to be something recognizable afterwards and not just twisted metal.

Here is an important key, though: I don't want to be what you want me to be. I will not be created by committee, by democracy into some politically correct SJW, or some insipid lickspittle to the nearest manipulators. So if I am not what you admire, then I cannot be sorry for it. We are not the hammer, and we are not the blacksmith.

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