The Art of Wishing

This post is humorously dedicated to the number three, and the philosopher Paul Ricoeur.

My life is a fairytale. I acknowledge that privilege, and the many other privileges that have contributed to this particular philosophy. Fairytales aren't what you think, though. I'm not talking about the sanitized, Disnified versions where everything conforms to a wildly blind secular humanistic optimism. I'm talking about the H.C. Andersen versions where sometimes the fairytale is three beautiful wishes, and then she freezes to death. I'm trying to say that I've seen a kind of magic, miracles, and wonder. And I'm going to tell you how I wish.

 

1. A wish is something for which you would sacrifice all the other wants. It is the want who wins King of the Mountain.

     In a fairytale, the character is often given a very limited number of wishes (three is traditional). That means that each time the character wishes, the reader winces, second-guessing the value of that particular want. I do it every time. A wish is valuable, and should never be (but sometimes is) wasted. Every decision you make eliminates possibilities, and that includes when, inside your head, you decide what you really wish for. If your wish is strong enough, you would be willing to sacrifice every other concurrent wish for it. When you decide whom to marry, you are essentially wishing to live the rest of your life with one person, sacrificing every other possible marital relationship. That is a wish strong enough to survive, if you keep it alive. A wish grows stronger with every sacrifice you make for it, and those sacrifices begin the moment you say your wish aloud.

2. A wish is something you want so much that you will work for it, and believe in it even when you look silly to other people.

     This concept is only a temporally alternate variation of the above: you're essentially sacrificing time, effort, and pride. But this stage of sacrifice occurs after the wish has been articulated. In Christianity, this step corresponds to faith, where the above step corresponded to hope. In fairytales, this stage happens between characters as the wisher endures mockery, but it also happens between characters and readers. I judge characters for their wishes, but the characters persevere despite it. They stand by their decisions and win.
     Working for a wish is sometimes counterintuitive. Isn't avoiding work the point of wishing?
     No. The point of wishing is getting what you really want, no matter how impossible it seems. Work serves several purposes; as a form of sacrifice, it feeds and strengthens the wish; and it makes the wish visible to others, often opening possibilities for the wish's fulfillment or removing hindrances. Magic doesn't happen when there's dirty dishes: it happens when the evil queen sets the impossible task.

3. A wish owes a debt to Rightness.

     We as humans can make some things happen: it's called agency. We are agents. For a wish to be more than the exercise of agency, for a wish to be a way to bring magic (miracles, wonders) into the world, to extend beyond the probable, it must not only be well-intended (or intend no harm), but it must achieve some acceptability outside of our own awareness. Humans have agency, but God has power, and if God is good, then He will add his power only to those endeavors that will increase the net good at play in the world. This does not mean that God is waiting for us to read His mind, or play "what's in my pocket," because there may be multiple forms of Rightness, and a wish is freedom to choose which or how much. But because our awareness is limited and God's isn't, He might refuse a wish, or redirect us to something better.
     Sometimes the wish-granter in a fairytale also gives rules (be home at midnight), but most of the time the wishes are granted in return for a deed already done, and with faith that this person has proven herself worthy of the wish. The character is trusted and may sometimes wish foolishly but never evilly. Sometimes the wisher only needs practice: that's what the first two wishes are for.

 

I am aware that some of my experiences are only possible by certain social privileges. I am also aware that many good things in my life have happened despite a frustrating lack of some privileges. My life is richer than my privilege warrants, and I am grateful. I hope that sometime in your life, somebody grants you three wishes.

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