If the Subaltern Speaks

If a woman speaks and nobody listens, does she have a voice?

I am often concerned and frustrated by the (ill-conceived, in my opinion) strategies of feminist movements like Ordain Women who seem to wish to undermine faith, priesthood, and "established" (quotation marks brought to you by Becky) patterns of revelation. I react to that frustration by encouraging people to listen to what these women are trying to say, rather than trying to shout them down: I can't hear with all that shouting.

They're saying a lot of things, some of them contradictory (as befits the feminist movements generally). But a common thread is that women are feeling that they are not being given a voice. Whether they are actually given a voice in church leadership is up for some debate, but it doesn't change the truth that women feel like they are being silenced.

And we are, though not necessarily in this context. I realized something last night while praying to a male God. I realized that when a person is constantly undermined, constantly ignored, constantly dismissed, and constantly objectified by a particular demographic, faith in any member of that demographic is severely damaged. We unfortunately learn from the men around us how we think God would treat us, simply because God is male. We get the feeling that God isn't listening, because we have become accustomed to men not listening. We anticipate it and create the effect in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My brothers pick ideological fights, and then annihilate the straw man they build from my already watered-down statements. Some become verbally abusive when I refuse to concede their point. Male friends in conversation attack feminism out of cowardice. Dates ignore my clear "no, I'm not interested" and take the fact that I spoke at all (smiling, in a calm, pleasant voice, because I don't want to be labeled a "bitch") as a sign that I'm somehow encouraging them. Stalkers treat me like prey, and who asks the hind if she wants to be hunted? Colleagues hear me, but through a veil of flesh and gender that somehow thins my credibility. The media is saturated with stories of hate-trolling, victim-blaming, rape culture, male-on-female violence, "nice guy" rhetoric, MRA movements, and that knee-jerk fear of both rejection and false accusation. Women are infantilized, stereotyped, and trivialized. It's our fault. We're irrational and emotional and hysterical. We're not in our proper place.

Somehow, through all of this, I'm supposed to believe that God hears me? Does a perfect father love his sons more than his daughters? I honestly don't know anymore. It's not as simple as it was when I was a child.

But I do believe. I believe at the core of the gospel is the message that every soul is valuable, and that every person has a place and a purpose. I believe that Jesus taught that none of us will be lost forever. God sees all of His children; He hears and answers all prayers to Him. He calms and protects. I believe that Eve was wise and powerful, and that her legacy to us is power, but not the kind that can protect us from the malice and ignorance of men. I think that until masculinity can heal itself, everyone is a victim, but especially the women. Stop shouting, stop ignoring, and listen to us. Believe what we say.

And this applies to all non-privileged demographics: listen to the queer. Listen to the colored. Listen to Muslims. Listen to the homeless and the poor. Be strong enough not to act in fear. Open your ears and learn something: you don't have to always agree, or surrender, just respect. Learn their language.

Love comes first. Then we can change the world together.