The SAD Game

I have S.A.D., and January is always my WORST MONTH up here in the land of four seasons. Down in the desert, Summer is just as bad, for no apparent reason. Possibly something about it being TOO HOT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. My internal body temp is rock solid. I don't cool down easily, so I get heat stroke, heat exhaustion, and other heat-related illnesses very easily, and because I don't tolerate water well either, it's hard to prevent them. On the plus side, in Winter I sleep with the window open. I don't chill easily. Once I get going, I can shovel snow in a t-shirt. Did it just the other day, matter-of-fact.

But S.A.D. isn't about internal temperatures, it's about sunlight. When I don't get enough, I fall into a trough of despair and desperation. It's quite visible. I swear more often, I tie myself into immobilizing stress-knots (so many stresses and pressures I can't prioritize, so I do nothing), and I show signs of clinical depression, like insomnia, nausea, muscle aches, black moods, lack of interest in things that I have loved, oversleeping, undersleeping, becoming completely nocturnal, and lying in bed reading all day. Oh wait, that's my life. :D (It's my reading year, so basically homework is reading lots of complicated books.)

I saw a TED talk about how we can use our need for gaming to help us be healthier, so I am going to play a game with myself. Each day, the goal is 100 points, and actions that can be considered self-care are worth different amounts of points depending on their health/long-view. When I get ten consecutive wins, you know Spring is here. I should reward myself, but with what? I have no time or money. Besides, happiness is a good enough reward.

5 points: Indulgences. They're not necessarily healthy, but they are kind to me, and help me relax in a high-stress lifestyle. They include one episode of television (or two episodes of a cartoon), half an hour of web surfing, reading non-PhD fiction, and eating my feelings (food of negligible nutritional value). Only 5 points possible of each indulgence per day, 20 total. Any indulgence beyond a small kindness only increases stress via guilt.

10 points: Healthy Distractions. By this, I mean exercise, organ practice, sunlight (when available), cooking healthy food, blogging (yes, this is ten points, which brings me up to 40 already!), my first nap (I never nap longer than 20 minutes unless I'm ill), housework, and letter writing. *Limit: 40 points per day.

20 points: Working through the Sad. Every time I work despite the lethargy or distraction: Scripture study, reading PhD texts, applying for Summer jobs, updating my notebook, teacher prep time, grading, and actually teaching are all worth this much, though I suspect that my emotional return from scripture study is higher than that of any sense of accomplishment I might get from reading Piaget (though I'm really loving Piaget). There are no daily limits on how many points possible from this category.

50 points: Completing the daily task. I set myself one essential task per day, and completion is 50 points IN ADDITION to any I earn for working through the darkness. On school days that task might be approaching a professor, or finishing a week of lesson plans. On Sundays that task might be setting up Visiting appointments, or meeting somebody new at church. Other days, that task is simply to finish reading the daily book.

What do you think? Did I miss anything? Does painting my nails belong in a category? I generally multi-task, and do that while I read books. What about hygiene, like showering or getting dressed on reading days?

*The limits are only on how many points that day, not a limit on the activity itself, although if any one activity gets to be problematic I might make them negative points. It hasn't been a problem. I don't overindulge much, I just don't prioritize well when I can't feel properly.