Old Friends

This weekend, I traveled with two friends whom I have known for nearly twenty years. We laughed, ate, and generally enjoyed ourselves. We are still good friends, and I imagine we always will be, even if we don't always agree or get along smoothly. All three of us have serious red streaks in our personalities, so there's bound to be some subtle maneuvering.

Although none of us are wealthy, I am temporarily the most financially challenged of us, and I did not have the opportunity to balance the accounts with either of my dear friends, either for doing the work of driving, or for remembering to tip, and so I thought up this dubious scheme.

Laurie Ann and Jennifer Louise, I want you to know how I see you. I'm not omnicient, so my perspective is limited, and colored by my adoration. I hope that none of my observations are mistaken for criticism, because I can't imagine wanting either of you to change in the slightest. There wasn't a single moment in the entire weekend that I would have wished any of us other than what we are. And just because I say something about one of you, doesn't mean it isn't true for the other. People aren't either/or monopolies.

Jennifer, you have let the gospel refine all of the best things you learned from your mother. You are fierce in setting and achieving goals, in doing good, in working hard, and improving yourself. Your resolve is firm, and you enjoy many accomplishments. But what makes you sparkle is how much you love sharing your accomplishments with your family and friends. You are not satisfied with your musical talent, but you teach. You are not satisfied with building furniture, but you share. And you enjoy it. You are not satisfied with cooking, but you invite other people to eat, too. Your home and your self overflow with information, talents, and good things. You are a dedicated parent who sacrifices any number of self-indulgences if it means being a better wife and parent. You are superhumanly patient, and forgiving. I am not certain that forgiveness comes naturally to you - people with your kind of self-control and determination often hold themselves and others to inhuman standards. But I have seen you forgive even the most appalling injuries. If it did not come easily, you are the more powerful for having achieved it. You value truth, and cut easily to the heart of the tangled messes presented to you. You see truth, and instantly and accurate assess values. You are so perfectly balanced on a knife-edge, I rarely see you wobble.

Laurie, you feel things, but what I admire more is how you believe what you feel without struggling, and without denial. You trust your instincts about people, and your instincts, because they are informed, are remarkably correct. You have seen what the "perfect woman" veneer looks like, and you're perfectly capable of wearing one indefinitely, but you have the courage and grace to reject it. Because you, too, see that perfection, because it is false, is inherently just a flaw, and a cruelty. It's a vulnerability, and you are stronger than that. You are breathtakingly strong, and you draw that strength from knowledge. it means you look sure-footed. Even when you can't see the middle path, you trust your pace, and you know your goal. You have the long view. There's a warmth and naturalness in your home and affect that I envy. I can watch your brain work quickly, but what comes out in conversation never sounds contrived or forced. I have seen you fall back on cliche out of kindness to someone who might feel lost by your originality and wit, so I know you can, and yet you have the excellent judgment to know when each is best. It's a social skill that has earned you admiration from more than just me. And you have a love of laughter that spreads health and sanity around you like a perfume.

You are both powerful women. I am blessed to know you, and I aspire to your respective strengths. Keep on keepin' on, girls.