Adventures in Mid-Singles Land

I'm not a mid-single. I feel the need to make that clear before I begin. I'm almost three whole years shy of the 31+ cut-off date, and can I just tell you how clear the air is up here? You can smell the faintest whiff of superiority passing on the emaciated breeze.

So I have this friend named Elizabeth who is also not a mid-single, although she probably wouldn't mind at all being mistaken for one. She's a very confident 75 who drives like she owns the road, and talks as though she invented vocal cords. She probably did. She's just that clever.

Elizabeth got volunteered to attend a regional meeting of Stake singles representatives and gullible High Councilmen. I got voluteered to be her extra limbs. I don't remember ever having that much fun at older people's expense. Who knew laughing at your elders could be so heartening? Elizabeth must have known all along, because she was the one dragging them along for the ride. I just sat back and watched the circus, took notes, and said the opening prayer (and didn't THAT just make an awkward moment, I tell you. I imagine it would be like a new investigator praying at DDM (sorry guys, I don't remember what DDM stands for, 'cept not doing doors or streets on Friday mornings, which is a brilliant thing to stand for, but it doesn't exactly elucidate the acronym)).

*Obscure Tangent Warning*
My little sister thinks it's really sad that there are people who have lived in our neighborhood their whole lives (as if she hasn't). There are families who haven't left the city (for any reason) in perhaps three generations. She pities them and their stagnation. I envy them and the stability of their social circles. Hey - I got a social triangle! (well, geometrically it's still just a ray because the Elizabeths haven't met).

I have current friends in Germany, England, Northern Virginia, Minnesota, Texas, California, Northern Utah, Wyoming, and Massachusetts, but I get to hang out with them about once every three months. That is to say, I get to hang out with at least one of them quarterly, meaning that I see each friend perhaps once in four years (some more, some less, depending on strength of friendship, distance, and means). That leaves a lot of television time, and an unhealthy dependence on Facebook.

Hey, look at it this way; I'll get automatic friends for my birthday in 2012.

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