A Pretty Face

A young man came into the library today seeking Robert Jordan's fourth Wheel of Time book, called "The Shadow Rising." I don't read the series but my dad and brothers seem to like it. I am reluctant to read it, especially when the author died in September of 2007 (according to Wikipedia) leaving the story as yet unfinished (to be completed by some BYU professor, yet. Go Utes!).

Not the point. He was really cute. He had nice, evenly trimmed scruff and dark eyes that seemed conversant, if not genius. He was witty enough to make me laugh at least once, and he had the confidence to step around the desk to look at my computer screen. Or perhaps that was merely invasive curiosity. I'm okay with that. He didn't seem dangerous or pushy, just quick, and perhaps impatient.

I didn't look to see if he was wearing a ring. It's not an instinct I ever developed. I don't think it matters, really, because the point is that I enjoyed the experience, not that I want to hunt him down and ask him out.

Earlier this morning a lady came in looking for a book on palmistry. I'm afraid I exaggerated my belief in the practice (I don't have any at all) so she read my palms. I enjoyed that too, although I had to quash my instinctively superstitious nature quite harshly. She noticed that the line that signifies passion (Okay, I don't believe in palmistry, but it's fun to know stuff about, and it's a great ice-breaker at parties), although being deeply curved (which signifies an emotional nature) breaks up at the end, which she interpreted to mean that I sabotage my own relationships. She said I should look deeply at how I have ended relationships in the past to figure out what I can do better next time. She missed the point entirely.

I think she was working under the misapprehension that above all I would prefer a relationship. Perhaps I sometimes slip into the same misapprehension. I would rather be single and enjoying the scenery than shackled to an unworthy spouse. Apparently.

If my singleness is the result of intentional sabotage, then two things become apparent. Firstly, I should shut up about how I would like to be not single. Secondly, I should rethink my assumptions about the future. Can the future be predicted by the past? Have I gathered enough data to make statistical deductions? I should absolutely question my motivation for wanting a relationship.

But today I saw a handsome face. I looked upwards at a man and smiled. I had a moment of blissful unawareness in which I was both librarian and female it didn't matter that I wasn't pretty enough, because I had what he needed - someone to look up stuff and put a book on hold. And who are you to question my sense of fulfillment?

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