An Observation
As an undergraduate I made a study of kindnesses of all kinds in many different media. I found that kindness takes many different forms, and is received in many different ways. I analyzed the way writers treat their characters, how audiences treated performers (and vice versa), how people treated strangers, friends, animals, children, superiors socially economically and intellectually. I think I know now that kindness is a thing of the heart. It is a risk that one takes because one cares in some measure. The real wager of true kindness is not that the kindness will be rejected, or that the giver will be hurt, but that the kindness will cause hurt.
Sensible people, and caring people know that they cannot help giving unintentional offense, and sensible and strong-willed people know that they will likely lose their tempers.
I learned something else. I began to notice that I treated others in the same way I treated myself. My habits and feelings grew from the inside. I was a cold person, and very caught up in my own head. When I practiced kindness on myself first. it became kindness to others. As I developed a generosity of spirit towards myself, and began exercising forgiveness then I was more able to understand others without making judgements. When I allowed myself kind words and hopefulness, the follies of others seemed less irritating and more endearing. Society became pleasant.
It's a hard line to walk, to know that above all things I fear doing harm and to know that I have certainly already done so. It is as if my great childhood nightmare stalks me in daylight.
What a depressing turn this entry has taken! Perhaps I am ridiculously melodramatic. If so, it has taken me years to refine my melodrama, and I should be quite proud of it now.
I also blush to mention the 19th Century British syntax caught fever-like from the Dickensian drama I am watching on Netflix.
Sensible people, and caring people know that they cannot help giving unintentional offense, and sensible and strong-willed people know that they will likely lose their tempers.
I learned something else. I began to notice that I treated others in the same way I treated myself. My habits and feelings grew from the inside. I was a cold person, and very caught up in my own head. When I practiced kindness on myself first. it became kindness to others. As I developed a generosity of spirit towards myself, and began exercising forgiveness then I was more able to understand others without making judgements. When I allowed myself kind words and hopefulness, the follies of others seemed less irritating and more endearing. Society became pleasant.
It's a hard line to walk, to know that above all things I fear doing harm and to know that I have certainly already done so. It is as if my great childhood nightmare stalks me in daylight.
What a depressing turn this entry has taken! Perhaps I am ridiculously melodramatic. If so, it has taken me years to refine my melodrama, and I should be quite proud of it now.
I also blush to mention the 19th Century British syntax caught fever-like from the Dickensian drama I am watching on Netflix.
Using the Golden Rule is always a good gauge for how we treat others, says I.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is generally a helpful rubric, but I think you'd be surprised how often it has let me down.
ReplyDeleteWell in your case, I think that makes complete sense. My mother says that the Golden Rule covers the big things (like don't kill people, don't eat people, don't tie people up with your cell-phone cord and throw rotten fruit at them. . .) but allowances must be made for differences of personality. I'm pretty sure your personalities have differences.
ReplyDeleteI protest. I am fickle, perhaps, but not completely divergent.
ReplyDelete