Birthday Wishes

I wish I were fishing with my little sister's bra in the bathtub for rubber duckies (sort out THOSE modifiers!).
I wish someone would fall in while I was thus fishing.
I wish my imaginary friend would be unimaginary just long enough for a good conversation.
I wish stationary bicycles grew on trees: pine trees.
I wish my life were more Coleridge than Dorothy Parker.
I wish Coleridge were more Dorothy Parker.
I wish I had Jedi powers rather than my more mundane (and rather rusty) feminine wiles.
I wish my potent glare could frighten all of my students into instant honesty.
I wish I had my own desk with a weighted tape dispenser.
I wish there were a place in academia for hopeless romantics (don't say it. All Romantic Academics are hopeless. Thanks).
I wish my elbows would stay smooth and supple.
I wish I could use my psychic abilities for something more than figuring out what my little brother has been doing all weekend.
I wish pens were edible - or at least flavored.
I wish remotes came with automatic locator beacons.
I wish every room in every house came with a complete set of empty bookshelves.
I wish someone would comment on my blog.

Comments

  1. Nancy RocheFebruary 18, 2009 at 12:44 AM

    Happy Birthday, Nancy! I'll comment on your blog! You're so funny. I wish I were funny. I have no sense of humor or imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nancy RocheFebruary 18, 2009 at 12:47 AM

    But you're so smart! You know all that stuff about grammar and diagramming. I wish I were clever and academic. And all my poetry is way too sappy.
    Thanks for the Birthday wishes!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nancy RocheFebruary 18, 2009 at 12:52 AM

    Oh stop. It's just because I love school. Your poetry is pretty sappy, but I think lots of angsty teenagers secretly adore loads of cheese. It makes them feel alive.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nancy RocheFebruary 18, 2009 at 12:57 AM

    Ouch! Still, neither of us is very funny. Perhaps if we pool our resources we could make a third blog where we try really hard to grow a sense of humor. I can see us, toiling away, grunting and sweating and watering a little pun until it bursts into full bloom, an actual joke. Someday, I see a whole orchard full of riotous laughter.

    Well, maybe a hedge full of sniggers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JenFebruary 19, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    Ha ha! You used the word supple. Happy b-day -- again and again and again. And yet, you're still younger than I. Don't rub it in.

    ReplyDelete

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