Nancy's Musings

I was nominated for a Liebster Award, which is probably not an award. Actually, my academic diary was nominated, but this is clearly a non-academic subject, and as such does not belong on my professional publications. So I'm publishing it here. I'm going to participate anyway. The rules say that I must A) link back to the blogger who nominated me, B) volunteer eleven facts about myself, C) answer eleven questions asked of me by the previous blogger, D) nominate more bloggers with fewer than 200 followers, and E) ask eleven questions for them. Here you go: I was nominated by Eve Facts about me: 1. I'm both a practicing Mormon, and a PhD student, which makes my philosophical life a narrow but extremely stable catwalk above a roiling sea of unfounded convictions and liberal prejudices evinced by my peers and superiors. 2. I grew up in a very large family, which taught me two things: eat fast, and talk loud. 3. I have never been married, had a child, or been in a long-term, rom...

I am not happy, at the moment. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, which means that winters are difficult, and I slowly become more morose as the months progress. It's worse if I don't get exercise, and in a city plagued by horrible pollution, exercising is a challenge. I can't walk or run outside, and I don't have equipment, space, or funds for inside exercise. I have lots of excuses. A plethora. But being outside happiness, I have an interesting perspective of what it used to be, and it never was what I think people think it should be. I remember being told that feeling happy means smiling. "If you're happy, and you know it, then your face will surely show it," right? Sure, everyone's affect is always 100% descriptive. I believe in microexpressions, but they're called "micro" for a reason. They're moments of pure truth in your face, and they last milliseconds. So just because I wasn't as effusive as a cheerleader, doesn...

Have you seen this ? Good. Your mind is a little broadened to the variety that is feminism. I'm a feminist too! And these are just some of my ideas about feminism and clothing. Let me tell you EXACTLY why I will not be bifurcating my outer clothing at church this Sunday. And why I'd love it if some people did. They're right: we, as a culture, don't accept diversity very well, despite God's frantic admonitions. Our bad. So if you see a woman wearing pants to church, revel in it. Her courage, or diversity, or whatever she is being/expressing, is awesome, even if she's just expressing that she didn't get all her laundry done that week. We've all been there. I wore flip-flops a couple of times because I had forgotten to travel with shoes. Nobody cared. Okay, one little girl asked, but her mother defended me. If you want to worship somewhere with a dress code, there's always the Temple , where diversity is very much beside the point, and where we embrace ...

A friend spoke up in Relief Society yesterday during a lesson about forgiveness and said something I almost agreed with. She pointed out that forgiveness is really between a person and God, and is largely irrelevant to the perpetrator of the offense. I think I agree, in that forgiving becomes for us largely a selfish act. We forgive others so that we feel better ourselves. But because it's selfish, we categorize so many things in our lives as "unforgivable" and then ameliorate that down to "unforgettable" and sever our relationships because we're protecting ourselves. In some specific cases, I absolutely believe severance to be the best course: I see no reason to maintain dating relationships with someone who has crossed boundaries of any kind, because dating relationships specifically are contingent on very personal kinds of approval. And no sane human would consider remaining friends with a rapist, abuser, or thief after being victimized by that person. Bu...

I woke up from a nap today at about six, and it was dark outside, and I was the only person at home. No lights were on, no sounds came through except the leaves rattling in the wind. It felt like The Lathe of Heaven , and I was George Orr, changing the world into my nightmares. Today my Thanksgiving gratitude post on facebook was about living with people. I need people around me. So when my friend posted that he was feeling bitter about the onset of the Christmas season, I responded very passionately, with all of my sad, Romantic soul (read: Wordsworth and Shelley, not Twilight and Harlequin). I love Christmas because of Germany. It transforms the world, in Germany. Here, though, Christmas has its own uses. Usually, the argument about Christmas boils down to how much Jesus should be in it. but I don't like that argument. Jesus the Christ is sacred, and his name is sacred, and too much of him will only dilute the meaning: spread hallowness too thin. So my arguments will be for the s...

I've been thinking a lot of chronology lately, especially in Renaissance Literature class as we discuss embellishment and ornament. Truth seems to pre-exists art/beauty in the minds of the metaphysical poets. And then I stumbled across a scripture. 1 Nephi 9:6 says (paraphrased) the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning, therefore he prepareth a way for us to accomplish the stuff he asks. That's chronologically fascinationg, because it seems to imply that the Lord has set everything up for success even before we enter the apparatus. So that feeling we get sometimes, that we're being set up to fail - that's the devil and his angels. If we are doing the work of the Lord, we are set up to succeed, like a marble with agency. But what about sin? I think sin happens, and I think God is smart enough to take it into account. His apparatus doesn't fail because we make a mistake; we simply use another part of the apparatus: The Atonement. Now, thinking back to the metaph...

I'm a VERY talented person, but not universally so. Here is proof: This photo is actually published in an online journal.  I took this on my mission to Germany, when I lived in Dusseldorf. This is also in Germany, a winter I spent in Muhlheim. This is their Muhl, of name. The super-saturation here is Disney's fault. The photo was taken on a 35mm. Lake Tahoe is ALWAYS photogenic. Even up close, Lake Tahoe has AMAZING skin tone.  Virginia also has its moments. I use this image on another blog somewhere. . .  Growing up in St. George, this stuff is everywhere. Yucca and a Lava Floe.  This is just a texture study. Very saturated, though. Wonder if I edited it. This is just Lake Tahoe being photogenic again. From the other side, this time. This is the Exeter College Fellows' Garden. These are colleges in Oxford, and the Radcliffe Camera to the left. I took this in I70 on my way to Virginia. My first spring in Germany, Bonn.  Heinrichstrasse - ovesaturated. My fault. ...